I was very young when my parents separated. I know my mother cheated on my father, but I didn't understand what that meant at the time. Sometimes, my mother would take us to fast food places with her lover, but I didn't know what it meant, so I kept quiet. My mother was often angry with my father because she worked while my father took care of us. I knew my father really loved my mother. One day, my mom said we could go back to the province, and she would stay in Montalban. My father agreed because he trusted her.
When we arrived in the province, we lived in our grandparents' house because we didn't have our own. After a month, my father decided to build a small house in the backyard. He enrolled us in the elementary school nearby. Since we were not financially stable, my father decided to send me to live with his cousin because he couldn't afford to send me to school, but his cousin could. I started living with my aunt, who sent me to school, bought me school supplies, and sometimes sewed clothes for me. I felt comfortable there, but my siblings did not. They often went to school without snacks, so I gave them mine every day.
The kids at school bullied us, saying we didn't have a mom and that our mom didn't like us. There were times when my younger siblings' classmates called me because my younger sister was also being bullied. I once saw boys in her class force her to eat a ball of paper, which broke my heart. Months later, my brother lost his right eye in an accident. He didn't tell us, and we thought it was just sore eyes. When it didn't get better, my father took him to the center, which said we needed to bring him to the hospital. They said his right eye was damaged and needed to be removed to save his other eye. It was hard for us, but we agreed to the operation.
When my mother heard the news, she visited us in the province and seemed worried. After the operation, my brother felt better. My mom decided to bring us to Payatas, Quezon City, where she lived. We didn't know then that she had a new boyfriend. My father didn't know my mother had cheated on him. When we arrived at my mother's house, she introduced her boyfriend to us. At first, I thought he was just a friend, and my mom said he was our uncle, so I thought he was one of her siblings. When I got older, I realized my mother had cheated on my father and didn't let him visit because she wanted to hide her affair. My father had to meet us at fast food places because my mother wouldn't let him come to our house. Sometimes, my mother taught us to lie to my father to get more financial support and to cover up for her boyfriend. During this time, I was very angry with my mother. Instead of teaching us good values, she taught us how to lie to our father and sometimes to other people.
When my mother decided to send us to school again, I was scared because of the trauma from our old school in the province. On my first day of school, I was very nervous and thought my classmates would hate me like the kids in the province. But I was wrong. I made a lot of friends, and one of them invited me to go to their church. I said yes, and every day after school, we would go to church. When I got home, my mom always thought I was flirting and hanging out somewhere else. I explained myself to her, but she didn't believe me and hit me every day because of it.
I loved going to church because I felt like God was protecting me and loving me there. Even after my mother beat me, I felt that the church was my safe place. I felt loved there, but at home, I felt like no one loved me. My mother always said mean things to me, like my teacher and classmates did before. I was very angry with my mom, and I felt like I didn't want to forgive her. She was always kind to my siblings, even when they were disrespectful to her. My brother didn't respect me as his older sister, and my mother didn't care about that. I promised myself that if my mother got older, I would never take care of her because she always beat me and didn't love me.
When I turned high school, I started entering into relationships to find the love I couldn't get from my mother or family. I always sought love from other people. I promised myself that if I had my own family, I would never let my children have a broken family. I started escaping in the middle of the day to meet my boyfriend. I thought that if my mother always thought I was flirting or being a whore, even if I wasn't, I might as well do it because she already thought that way about me. I had several boyfriends and failed relationships, but I always promised myself that I would never cheat.
In my third year of high school, I met the father of my child. He was the only guy I introduced to my mother. My boyfriend always came to our house. One day, he said his mother planned to go to the province for good, and he would go with her. I thought he would leave me, so we planned to run away to his mother's province. When we were about to go, my mother's boyfriend saw us and didn't let us leave. He called my mother and the barangay officials because I refused to go home and wanted to go with my boyfriend. They used force to stop us, and we ended up at the barangay station. After talking, they made us sign an agreement. I agreed to stay at my mother's house, but that night, I gave my mother my bag and still went to my boyfriend's house. I decided to stop going to school and start working after that.
I started living in my boyfriend's house with his parents and siblings. At first, I liked living there, but after a few weeks, I felt like I was just a maid. After my boyfriend left for work, his mother always made me do all the chores every single day. His mother and sister didn't help me at all. I washed the clothes of his family members and even took care of his niece. I didn't say anything because I was scared they would be angry with me. So, I decided to find a job so I wouldn't have to do all the chores every single day.
At first, I was very happy because I had my first job and my first paycheck. I was a hardworking person and very dedicated. I always told myself that if I saved money and worked hard, I could go back to school. But my body became exhausted, and I got sick because of the kind of work I did. So, I decided to quit and find another job. I applied as a sales lady in a small store. Unlike my first job, this one paid much less, but I kept going because I didn't have a child yet. Even though the salary was small, it was okay because it covered my own expenses.
I worked there for just three months because COVID-19 came to our country. The government declared a home quarantine, and no one was allowed to go outside. Every food stock we had was limited. The government distributed food packs so we could survive even without work. Months passed, and we were still in quarantine because of COVID. I got pregnant with my first child. I felt so happy even though I was planning to go back to school, even if it was homeschooling. Months later, I gave birth to a little boy. When my son turned two months old, I got pregnant again with my youngest because of a lack of sexual education.
I chose to be a housewife and focus on my children. Now, my son is three years old, and my youngest is a baby girl who is currently two years old. I tried to go back to school, but I didn't have anyone to take care of my children while I was in school, so I didn't have a choice. When my father found out about my mother's affair, he stopped giving financial support to her. He said I could get the money to support my siblings and me. Months later, my father had a mild stroke. Thanks to God, even though he had a mild stroke, he could still move all his body parts, but he moved slowly. Because of this, my father stopped working and volunteered to take care of my children.
During this time, I met Life Project 4 Youth (LP4Y), which offers free six-month professional training and financial support to marginalized women like me. My father suggested I join. I had always dreamed of having a decent job, one with a contract, benefits, and good pay. So, I started going to the center.
At first, I was very shy and nervous. I was not confident with my English and didn't have enough confidence to speak in front of people. But after months of training, I became more confident, especially when talking in front of a lot of people. They trained us to speak in front of others, and I became comfortable speaking in English, even if my grammar wasn't perfect. Despite this, I never heard anyone judge or mock me. Instead, they corrected me, and I really loved the environment inside the center. Being there for just six months was a great opportunity for me.
Because of this, I plan to become a member of the STARS Club someday and support Youth like me. I am much more confident now in applying to different companies, even without a diploma. LP4Y taught me that a diploma is not necessary to find a decent job. You just need the skills and determination to get the job of your dreams. You can still bloom in the shadow. If you have confidence in yourself, the people you meet will also have confidence in you.
Even though my past was full of struggles and confusion, I found my strength. Through the pain of a broken family and tough times, I learned that love can be found in unexpected places. With determination and support, I realized that you can overcome your past and create a hopeful future.
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